So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
