he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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