I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize