Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
well most of my day revolves around power hour
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
