you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
