Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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