billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
3pm strippers are depressing
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
