Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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