remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
