i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
