all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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