In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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