so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
