I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Someone shattered a urinal.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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