i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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