So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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