just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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