Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize