Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
