I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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