I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
