Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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