butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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