super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize