Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
