Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize