You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
