my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
