I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
