Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
