I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My penis needs a shock collar
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
