Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
