you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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