You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
