I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I need moral support for this bender
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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