Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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