I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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