Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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