that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
