You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
