i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize