That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
