Dual....:-)
one two three fourrrrnication!
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
