Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
