Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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