Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
