You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
