You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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