God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
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