At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
