you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
