have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Someone came in the potted fern
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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