I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
