she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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