Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
pray to the hookup gods
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
