So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
