Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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