id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
