I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I skipped work to stalk him.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
