he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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