It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
