i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize