we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
how drunk are you?
Several
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
