oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
