Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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