Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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