I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I intend to get homeless drunk
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
