Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize