I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
pray to the hookup gods
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize