i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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