Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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