I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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