There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
